Category Archives: Blog
Rekall is a Terrible Idea
I wrote this with my friend Ben. Arnold (Schwarzenegger) is walking down the street when a barker hands him a flyer for Rekall–a place where memories of vacations are injected into your mind.
Frankenstein Detective 2
Ext. Theater- Night The marquee reads: Clark Park Players Present: Murder Mystery CUT TO int. auditorium- Night
Earthmerica
Inaugural meeting of the One World Government. Secretary General: First on the list: what do we call the world?
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Mobster Insurance Company
Stock photo of a beautiful suburban home on a cheap green screen. A goon straight out of Goodfellas enters.
Larry Crown
I haven’t seen Larry Crowne, but I saw the trailer twice. And it was awful enough to inspire me to write my own Larry Crown.
Love Sickness
A young couple sits on a park bench. The boyfriend pantomimes riding a pony and brays like a horse. Boyfriend: Special delivery from the lovey express: I love you!
I’ve never seen an episode of Jerseylicious
It’s about hair, right? In the living room, Shannon, Cheryl, and Stefunny are playing Scrabble. Cheryl (being interviewed): I put down car and Shannon made it into carcinogen. She got a double word score and a fifty-point bonus! I never … Continue reading
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I’ve never seen an episode of Glee
A drunk stumbles into the high school auditorium while the Multicultural Club prances around. Wheel Chair Bound Student: Look, a drunk! Gather ’round everybody!
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People as a Need
I recently read an essay by philosopher Len Doyal called A Theory of Human Need. For Doyal, needs are what, “must be satisfied to some degree before people can effectively participate in their form of life to achieve any other … Continue reading
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HIV Cure
Hey, I heard they cured a guy of HIV.
That means I can have sex with people with HIV and be okay!
I think that means they’d cure their HIV.
But then why would they have sex with me?! Continue reading
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