Int- Pet store- Day
A MAN scans the dog food shelf.
Man: Dog eats better than I do.
CUT TO
Int- Dining Room- Night
The man eats a cheap TV dinner while a golden retriever eats fancy dog food.
CUT TO
Int- Pet Store- Day
The man looks at dog beds.
Man: Dog sleeps better than I do too.
CUT TO
int- Bedroom- Night
The dog sleeps on a big, comfy dog bed while the man shivers on a shitty, old mattress.
CUT TO
Int- pet store- day
The man, holding a bag of dog food and a dog mat, walks toward the exit while the female cashier glares at him.
Man: Dog gets more women than I do.
CUT TO
ext. Park- day
A WOMAN approaches the dog as the man stands nearby.
Woman (playfully): Want to come home with me?
Man: Sure.
Woman: I meant the dog.
The woman winks at the dog and walks off.
CUT TO
ext. Parking lot- day
The man crashes his car into another car.
Man: Dog drives better than I do.
CUT TO
EXT. PARKING LOT- DAY
A bewildered chow-chow stares at the man from behind the steering wheel of its car.
cut to
EXT. PARKING LOT- DAY
Man: I bet the dog gets the cop on its side.
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EXT. PARKING LOT- DAY
The chow-chow talks to a uniformed K-9.
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EXT. PARKING LOT- DAY
The man is cuffed and put into the back seat of a police cruiser.
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int. court- day
Man: Great, the dog’s friends with the judge!
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int. court- day
The chow chow and Judge Bull Dog , who wears a robe and powdered wig, circle each other, sniffing each other’s butts. The judge knocks the gavel to the floor in excitement.
CUT TO
int. execution chamber- day
The man sits, strapped to the electric chair.
Man: There is no justice in a world run by dogs!
close up
A paw pulls a lever.
CUT TO
int. viewing room- day
A group of dogs in top hats, cumberbuns, tiaras, and blouses bark and howl as the man receives 10,000 volts.
BLACKOUT
