I started off the interview by asking Eugene Mirman how he was going, in Russian. He answered, “Well,” also in Russian. I then threatened to conduct the interview entirely in Russian and he agreed, at which point the charade had ended. Sure, we could have done it in Russian, but what would that prove, other than both of us can speak Russian? Nothing.
So here is the interview, in which we discuss fake mustaches, video game movies, and Eugene’s many writing endeavors. In English, for your convenience.
Since you were born in Russia, you cannot be President. How does that make you feel?
I feel fine. I feel comfortable. I think that that’s actually a pretty good policy, but maybe if Arnold Schwarzenegger changes it I will then become president too.
How old were you when you moved to America?
I was four and a half.
Was it a difficult transition?
It was the cold war and, at the time, people were afraid of Russians. But, otherwise, it was okay.
Have your parents made the transition well?
Yeah, we’ve been here for about twenty-five years or so.
Do they often make references to secret police coming in and getting you after doing something like chatting with the anti-gay phone company?
The KGB actually did come to look for books that they thought my dad had. They have a bit of a distrust of the government, but not here nearly as much as in Russia, obviously. A lot of things that happened in Russia don’t happen here. Because they’re illegal.
Now that you live in Brooklyn, you are often immersed in Russian culture?
Not extremely, but I enjoy going down to Brighton Beach sometimes. I didn’t grow up in a particularly Russian community, but some of my friends were Russian and my parents have lots of Russian friends. But I didn’t live in the Russian part of a Russian town.
When you visit Brighton Beach, then, do you go for the boardwalk or to buy fish?
I’ve bought food there, but I don’t go there all the time to buy food. But when I am there, yes, I buy meats and fish of some kind.
I’ve noticed, with Russian people, a question they ask often is, “Where’s the closest Russian store to you?” And if you live near Brighton Beach, they follow up with, “When you visit, can you bring me some marinated mushrooms or something?”
In Boston there was one near me that we’d sometimes visit. But I don’t have a car, so it’s not that convenient.
What do you answer when people ask you if you speak in Russian?
I say yes, because I do speak Russian, but I say that I have the education of someone that’s four and a half. I speak it fairly fluently but I congregate things sometimes wrong or
I don’t know certain words. I speak it everyday with my parents, though.
Can you read and write in Russian as well?
That’s the other thing that I can’t do. I can read and write very slowly, but I have no idea how words are spelled. Luckily, they’re mostly phonetic. But I’ve never had much of a need to write in Russian, though I’d love to be able to.
How do people usually follow up the, “Can you speak Russian?” question?
They’ll embrace me. Sometimes ask me to say some things.
They usually ask me how to say obscenities.
People used to ask me how to say bad words, but then, maybe after my friends were older, they stopped asking me. I often say that I don’t know them and my parents never swore at me. I could probably call someone dimwitted.
Or a goat.
Or a very unintelligent goat.
What should one expect from one of your comedy shows?
I don’t know. It’s comedy, so hopefully they’ll enjoy it. I don’t have particular things that I talk about.
When did you know you wanted to be a Comedian?
Probably high school. I loved stand-up for a long time.
When did you perform your first show?
At the end of high school, I did an open mic at the Catch a Rising Star at Cambridge, Mass.
What inspired you to perform?
From sixth grade on, I listened to a lot of stand-up. I had five Bill Cosby albums and would listen to stand-up all the time. Lots of Emo Phillips. Comedy was very big in the 80′s. I’d watch it on HBO and all of the young comedian’s specials. I’ve just always loved it.
How did your first show go?
The first one went very well, as they often do, which was an illusion. Then the second one went very poorly. But it takes time.
What were the next few years like?
I was in college, but the next couple of years was me doing comedy in college. Writing a column for our school paper and doing stand up. I majored in comedy in college. I went to Hampshire College.
I didn’t know you could do that.
You can, if you go to Hampshire. Lots of places have interdisciplinary things. I just combined history, film, writing, and acting all with a comedy bent and put them together into a comedy major.
Can you compare doing stand-up to something a norm would have experienced?
Anyone that’s ever spoken at anything and people enjoyed it, it feels a lot like that. Or maybe like a wedding.
Which part of the wedding?
The part where you’re special.
What changes have you noticed in comedy since you’ve started out?
When I started, it was when comedy had died. The industry crashed. So, for me, I’ve experienced it more suddenly getting better and better. More opportunities and getting more popular. Comedy is moving to places people wouldn’t expect it. Like yesterday, I did a show in a movie theater.
What advice do you have for people who want to get involved in comedy?
To do it. Just do it.
You mentioned in an interview that you ran for student council. How did you incorporate humor into your campaign?
I had a slogan that a friend of mine thought of. “It’s not just a change, it’s a mutation.”
Did you end up giving a big speech in front of the school?
I don’t think I did. It would have been terrifying. But I did write some super weird things that I handed out to everyone.
Did you often partake in tomfoolery at school?
Slightly, but not too much.
What ridiculous things do you remember from school?
I didn’t do too many ridiculous things. I worked at a crises hotline, that’s not ridiculous. I did a mythology club with some friends of mine and put on random events, like celebrating ancient holidays. But that’s not crazy. I didn’t do anything like, “I put a car on the top of the roof of the thing.”
Do you now do ridiculous things for the sake of doing ridiculous things?
Do I do crazy things to have a crazy experience? No. Sometimes, for instance, I’ll order two soups at a restaurant. I have a good time in my day. I try to do things that are silly. I must. I have.
I wore a fake mustache once. I was trying to get into a club, but they wouldn’t let me in because I was wearing a silver scarf and a fake mustache. Then the man yelled at me to get away and told me that I wasn’t cool. Later, all of my friends came back and we all had fake mustaches. They still didn’t let us in to the dance club, so I told them it was for a show for MTV and they were excited.
How would you rate your fake mustache experience?
I loved my fake mustache experience.
What was the inspiration for The Marvelous Crooning Child on your site?
It happened organically. I brought in pictures and we really liked the one of the baby. First, we thought we’d make it wink, but then we decided that I would record stuff and me singing turned out to be the funniest.
You toured with The Hold Steady, how did you arrange that?
We have the same agent. I’ve toured with lots of bands. The shows I’ve done with them were lots of fun. It was a good match.
How did you take to the rock star lifestyle?
No, I don’t have to do anything I don’t feel comfortable with. I think there’s the imagined rock star lifestyle and the regular one. The one that is a conjured image with wine and endless parties, not too much of that. But the one where you drive from city to city in nine hours, perform in a rock club, and then have to find a place to stay, that I’ve done and had lots of fun.
Do comedians often go on tour with musical acts?
It’s always happened. If the Beach Boys go on tour in an amphitheater, you might see a comedian opening. It’s not an unheard of thing. Comedy clubs were remotely an invention of the 80′s and, before that, people went to see comedy in various clubs. Just other nightclubs. I think it’s returning to that because comedy clubs can sometimes be cheesy. The 80′s created a stereotype of comedy. That they sometimes fill and sometimes don’t. I think people will do it more in rock clubs and theaters.
You mention on your CD that you enjoy videos games. What’s your opinion on the upcoming Doom movie?
Doom the movie?! I have no opinion. I like video games like a normal person where sometimes I’ll play it for a little while. Maybe it will be awesome. Will it be from the point of view of the man shooting?
Oh, it is. You should check that trailer out; it’s quite impressive. It’s got the Rock.
I don’t think I know the story well enough. If they were making a movie of Grand Theft Auto, I would know more about what that would be like.
They’re making Spy Hunter, the movie.
That will be great. I don’t know if there’s been a good video game to movie yet, excluding, of course, The Mario Brothers movie.
Are there any video games you’d like to see turned into a movie?
SSX Tricky. I’d rather see comic books turned into movies.
How about old TV shows or cartoons?
I would like it if The A-Team were a movie. And Buck Rogers. I would like to play Lieutenant Deering. Those are my nominations.
What projects are you currently involved in?
I have a Comedy Central compilation of a show that I do every Wednesday coming out in the winter. And I’m also doing another album, this one for Subpop. The stage show is a lot of the type of shows that they have in New York. Comics trying various bits. We’ve been doing it every week for the last three or four years. And so we recorded three nights with twenty-five comics and musicians. It’s Called Invite Them Up. I do it with Bobby Tisdale. My next album is going to have a DVD with eight to ten videos and a lot of stuff on it.
Do you feel that you have to one-up David Cross’s double album?
No. Guns ‘N Roses released Lose Your Illusion One and Two at the time, but no one felt the pressure to do similar things. I want to put out a package that I’m excited about. So much of what I do is video. I would hate not to put it on there.
What do you use for editing the videos on your site and such?
Final Cut.
Do you get free stuff from them now that you’ve publicly acknowledged that it’s their software that you use?
No, I haven’t, but I would like Apple to give me things.
Tell me about your involvement in Stay Free Magazine.
I do restaurant reviews. They interviewed me and asked me to write about places I like in Park Slope. That went well and they asked me to do a column of restaurant reviews.
What else are you involved in?
I’m doing a blog for The Village Voice and I have a column for a music magazine,
Devil in the Woods.
Is there anything you’d like to leave our readers with?
I want to say hi to them.
Visit eugenimirman.com to get tour dates, see the Marvelous Crooning Child, sample Eugene’s stand up, learn more about the anti-gay phone company, and to watch some videos.
