I left the Armando Diaz Experience early, thinking, “I’ll walk home at 9:30 because all the murderers come out at 10.” Then the murderers will see me walking by and think, “Too bad we run such a tight ship because that guy would get all sorts of stabbed.” And then they’d lick their lips and rub their hands vigorously, as murders and hungry Tex Avery wolves are want to do, drooling at the thought of the sweet, sweet murder that’s coming their way.
There are 122 other people doing the IO intensive. The old me would have sat quietly, I think; but I introduced myself and talked with strangers. How much I’ve grown! High school may have ended seven years ago, but I still feel as though graduation was just the other day–the old me is not so old, is what I’m trying to say! Whenever I mention my past, insecure self, I think, “Don’t talk about it; you’re ruining the magic of confidence!” but what makes graphic novels great, I imagine, is that the heroes are real people, and so I present me to you as a full human being–it makes my narrative arc that much more compelling. You wanna keep reading because you remember all the times Lil Benny K was quiet, keeping his jokes to himself and a close circle of friends–and now he’s in Chicago, making things up in the same place that birthed Chris Farley and Mike Myers. You too can pretend to have diarrhea in front of strangers! And, with enough practice, the audience will believe your diarrhea, relive their own diarrhea through you, and, together, you’ll all grow as people (diarrhea).
And, to think, I could have gone the other path, studying geo-politics and economics at the graduate level, only dreaming about the diarrhea that could have been.
Now if I can just survive these walks to and from the theater.
Is it really that dangerous around here? Probably not, but my mother tells me that there are mobs robbing people in Chicago–they do it in large groups so the police can’t catch them! So I better watch out c’ause I’m such an easy and alluring target. “That guy’s got too much skip in his step to not have a wallet bursting with cash. ” “And he’s wearing headphones, so he won’t see us coming.” “Those headphones make me think he’s got an I-pod. I kill for those!” That’s three different people talking with six others listening in!
“Woe is me!” I’ll cry to my mother. “They must have read your blog and targeted you specifically,” she’ll tell me. And that’s how I’ll learn to be more cautious, on the streets and on the web.