This interview was conducted for an article that first appeared online on NYPress.com on March 14th, 2007
How did the idea for Obsessed come to be and how did the two of you decide
that you wanted to work together?
All of the credit goes to Julie for the idea for Obsessed. Although I’m sure my mental state led her to the idea…I do own the Guardian Angel Safety Game and tons of “Showgirls” memorabilia. Julie and I have similar obsessions: Liza Minnelli, Bob Fosse, pickles. We’ve wanted to work together for a while and tried a couple of other things (writing a self-help book for cats, inventing a language) but this project has legs.
Why do you think the two of you work so well together?
She’s a Jew and I am Catholic. You’d think that would cause a lot of problems but it works. We also are respectively a terrible Jew and an even worse Catholic. And we make sure that every creative meeting is 50% the show, 25% boy chatter, 20% musical theatre clips, 5% food diary.
What are some of your obsessions?
Oh man. I have a lot of obsessions. Right now the list includes: swearing, Showgirls the movie, divorced men, organic Omega 3 eggs, BET, this online journaler on YouTube, Screech’s sex tape, Tony Romo’s failure, texting, David Lynch’s Inland Empire and his book on tape on meditation, a lifesize doll from Rite-Aid I’ve declared my daughter, making out, and seeing movies marketed to black people on opening weekend.
Who are some of your favorite guests thus far and who would you like to have on the show in the future?
I’ve been pretty obsessed with all of our guests. Everyone has been amazing and offered us a glimpse into the unique weirdness that makes them shine. But The biggest suprise was Stephen Baldwin from Brooklyn Parrot – what a goddamn delight. He’s obsessed with preserving Brooklyn’s parrots and he has the name of a born-again Baldwin. Already he’s perfect. But he also answered all of my questions about my step-mother masturbating my parrot with a compassionate and informative tone.
I’d like to book someone who has no idea he’s obsessed. Like a tax accountant who legally changes his name to Luke Skywalker. Someone who’s vibe is “I might kill you.’ Like Peter Braunstein.
What sort of obsessions would want and not want on the show and why?
OBSESSIONS WANTED
Fan fiction author
Featured on To Catch a Predator
A stalker for me and Julie
Sports super fans
Fetishists (amputee, foot, etc)
Groupies with tales of sex
Someone who’s seen a turdy show like Mama Mia hundreds of times
Virgins in their 50s
A prison guard
OBSESSIONS NEED NOT APPLY
Anything I need to clean up like sploshers (sorry Julie)
Can you tell what someone’s Obsession is just by looking at them or by the type of cereal they eat or the pants they wear?
The great thing about obsessions is you can hide them well. Sure someone who’s 50 and shops from the Lands End catalog probably is obsessed with WW2. But my friend who designs crossword puzzles for a living told me about a reputable elder gentleman man in the crossword puzzle field who has a well-displayed collection of dildos in his living room. I mean that shit is for real. I would love to meet some crossword dandy that brings a suitcase full of dildos into the city from CT.
What are some Obsessions that you think will be popular in the future, that you would like to come back in style, and that you would like to never return?
In the future I hope we can appreciate stalking for what it is – romantic.
I really hope a healthy respect for pubic hair comes back. We don’t need all of it but some of it is good. A friend of mine will only watch porn from the 70s or current day Italy. They don’t fear hair.
I think Reganomics can pretty much eat a dick. I think the whole idea of a generation of people being inspired by Republicans is gauche as hell.
What’s the nerdiest thing you own?
I own a humidifier. And I use it and clean it (semi) regularly. It helps my allergies. I also own a lot of self-help books. I really resisted the call of the self-help book for a while but I caved. And caved spectacularly – it feels great. I find them so comforting. I actually haven’t even read all of the ones I own. I just fall asleep with them on my bed. Like in “Flowers for Algernon” I hope to be cured through osmosis.
What’s the most esoteric answer that you could give to this question?
Hummus. Esoteric means yummy, right?
What’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said?
Much like a retarded child, I have no real filter. Sound effects included. So I have been known to say things like “Heya buddy…boop boop beep beep lets see a movie…ta-do-vie.” Who do I think I am? The black guy from “Police Academy?”
How did the idea for Obsessed come to be and how did the two of you decide that you wanted to work together?
It’s got crazy gams. Dynamite kickers. We’re both obsessive weirdos, so there is no end to the topics we can cover with this show, which is great for a serial. As for its origins, Jackie and I had tried hosting a variety show together a while back, but then I got involved doing Free To Be Friends and she was doing Showgirls…once those shows ended we reconvened and agreed on the concept, then started writing bits together and booking guests. It’s very easy to be on stage with Jackie Clarke; I’m never nervous that there’s going to be an awkward pause. And it’s easy to write with her, because she has good ideas and likes my good ideas too. Sometimes we have good ideas together! It’s pretty queer.
Why do you think the two of you work so well together?
We work together well because I like reading Jackie’s food diary, which, by the way, reads like this: “Monday: Cock, Schwarma, Cock. Tuesday: Oatmeal (healthy start, Jackie!), Cock, Ass. Wednesday: Nipples. Ham. Cock.” It’s the best poetry ever. I also want to let people know that I am an awesome Jew. Sometimes I Jew off without even realizing I’m Jewing off so hard. Sometimes I just Jew around. But I’m always Jewing it around.
What are some of your obsessions?
My top three obsessions right now are: The Queen, Helen Mirren as The Queen, and the movie The Queen. Otherwise, I’m super-into my Carol Channing ventriloquist dummy, the movie Tommy, not being friends with people who won’t give me what I want, Sploshers, The Barry Z Show, Bette Midler’s disco album Thighs and Whispers, Billy Joel drunk driving jokes (always funny!), Payless having nice shoes now, Jack Nicholson in 1975, gang bang porno, Carly Simon, and my own bangs.
Who are some of your favorite guests thus far and who would you like to have on the show in the future?
Our guests have been fantastic, not just because they’re all generally awesome people, but because the theme of the show lets them do something different–like Eric Drysdale, who’s a writer for The Colbert Report, came on the show and showed off slides from his awesome collection of 3-D photography. And Tom Scharpling, who hosts The Best Show on WFMU brought his Morton Downey, Jr. paraphanelia on stage and showed clips from his collection. Cintra Wilson read from Liz Renay’s autobiography, My Face For The World To See; Fred Armisen played Guitar Hero 2; Michael Musto read Suzanne Somers’s poetry; Janeane Garofalo talked about Rome and Sephora.
Plus, we get to have people like Steve Baldwin on, or my friend Iris Rose, who collects housekeeping books from the 50′s and 60′s, or Seth Rudetsky, Broadway Encyclopedia, or Barry Mitchell, who’s taped every performance of Jerry Lewis singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from the Labor Telethon since they invented VCR’s.
My dream guest would be John Waters, for sure. I love reading his essays about all the emphera in his home that delights him, from his electric chairs to his Crime Encyclopedias. I adore him; he is probably our last living genius.
What sort of obsessions would want and not want on the show and why?
First of all, I’m not interested in Sploshing, I’m only interested in what makes Sploshers tick. Sploshing, by the way, which you should google, is the sexual act of being aroused by smearing what is usually very messy food (beans, pie) on a lady. I am fascinated by it. I’m not saying I wanna clean up after a Splosher (As I already mentioned, I’m Jewish), but I think one would make a fantastic guest.
I’d also like to point out that Jackie’s list is mostly just people she’d like to meet. There’s only a minimal amount of obsession-themed answers in that list. What’s a prison guard obsessed with, Jackie? Besides loneliness?
Can you tell what someone’s Obsession is just by looking at them or by the type of cereal they eat or the pants they wear?
Not necessarily, although something I’ve found even before doing this show is that if a person isn’t obsessed with something, they’re probably really boring. Like, it’s cool to be a nerd who’s really into something, even if it’s something dorky like Broadway or Warcraft. But losers aren’t obsessed with anything. They’re like “whatever.” Give me a nerd over a loser any day.
What are some Obsessions that you think will be popular in the future, that you would like to come back in style, and that you would like to never return?
I’m looking forward to Michael Keaton finding my blog, realizing we are meant to be, and becoming totally obsessed with winning my heart.
What’s the nerdiest thing you own?
Doesn’t the guy in “Flowers for Algernon” (Algernon? Is his name Algernon) become retarded again at the end of the book?
As a Jew (reference #3), I am legally required to own a humidifier, so I’m exempt from that answer. As a musical theater nerd, however, I will own up to having, via ebay, a magazine ad from 1988 for L’Eggs pantyhose featuring Mr. Mistoffelees from CATS leaping next to a cute 80′s chick with the caption “She’s Got Theater L’Eggs,” which I keep in a frame over my cat’s litter box. I also keep both cast recordings of Sweeney Todd on my ipod (or i-todd, LOL), VHS copies of Cop Rock and old Tony Award broadcasts, and did I mention my Carol Channing ventriloquist dummy? I am seriously not joking about it.
What’s the most esoteric answer that you could give to this question?
Tacos!
What’s the nerdiest thing you’ve ever said?
“Wait. The Tommy Tune?”
