Stock photo of a beautiful suburban home on a cheap green screen. A goon straight out of Goodfellas enters.
Goon 1 (awkwardly): Hey, real nice house you got there– be a real shame if something happened to it.
Goon 2 stands in front of a stock photo of a brand new, red Corvette. He’s wearing a shirt that messes up the green screen.
Goon 2:Hey, that’s a sweet ride– be a bummer if it got banged up out on the street.
Goon 3 in front of a stock family portrait.
Goon 3: Hey, beautiful family; beautiful family–be a real tragedy if someone picked your kid up on the way home from school. Know what I mean?
Goons 1 and 2 enter the shot.
GOON 1: We don’t wanna gotta say something, but we’re sayin’ something.
GOON 2: These things happen, God forbid.
GOON 3: God Forbid.
All three goons look down at the ground and then, simultaneously, look up at the screen.
Goons 1, 2, & 3: At Albrizio Insurance, we don’t wanna gotta do nothin’!
Ext. Parking Lot- Day
An antsy woman gives a testimonial.
Woman: I was getting all these phone calls late at night. I’d pick up and there’d be no one there. I called Albrizio Insurance and the phone calls stopped.
Woman smiles nervously.
A man with his arm in a sling gives a testimonial.
Man: I didn’t think anything of it at first because so many other people saw the commercial. I guess I got confused, which is why my arm got all banged up. Now I send a check to Albrizio twice a month so I don’t get any more confused.
An Italian-American grandmother, fresh from the kitchen, delivers a testimonial.
Grandmother: Those Albrizio boys are nice boys; I don’t know why the police are always giving them such a hard time. They’re good for the neighborhood and make me feel safe.
Ext. store front- day
Photo of Albrizio Insurance store front on a cheap green screen. All three goons are present.
GOON 1: So call Albrizio Insurance today.
GOON 2: ‘Cause it’s a dangerous world out there
GOONS 1, 2, & 3 (while pointing at camera, out of sync): And we don’t wanna gotta do nothing
GOON 3: And don’t go to the police.