The Story of WW2

Here’s another sketch I wrote with Gerber.

EXT. RALLY DAY

Hitler speaks at a Nazi rally.

HITLER
We’re going to fight a war against the whole world!

Audience Member 1
That sounds awful!

HITLER
Then we’re going to round up all the Jews and kill them!

Audience Member 2
This guy is insane!

HITLER
And then we’re going to Blitzkrieg the French, and they will Nazi us coming!

Audience Member 1
Hold on a second.

HITLER
And then we’ll get the Polish, and they will Nazi us coming!

Audience Member 2
I’m starting to feel this. Are you starting to feel this?

Audience Member 1
I’m starting to feel it!

HITLER
And the British will Nazi us coming!

Audience Member 1
I’m in!

Audience Member 2
Me too!

Audience Members 1 and 2 Together
(with crowd)
They will Nazi us coming! They will Nazi us coming!

EXT PROCESSION DAY

Soldiers march in formation.

SOLDIERS
(Chant with rhythm of march)
They will Nazi us coming! They will Nazi us coming!

EXT BATTLEFIELD DAY

Soldiers, including audience members 1 and 2, charge their foes.

Audience Members 1 and 2 together
(methodically paced)
They will Nazi us coming! They will Nazi us coming!

Overlay map of Europe, with German forces advancing (and chanting).

EXT. RUSSIAN BATTLEFIELD DAY

It snows as the Germans advance upon the Russian front.

Audience Members 1 AND 2 Together
(methodically paced)
They will Nazi us coming! They will Nazi us coming!

The Russians attack the Germans.

RUSSIAN SOLDIERS
(fast paced)
We’re Russian to kill you! We’re Russian to kill you! We’re Russian to kill you!

The German chant begins to lose its steam and slowly becomes hesitant until:

Audience Members 1 and 2 TOGETHER
(hesitantly)
We did Nazi this coming!

RUSSIAN SOLDIERS
(fast paced)
We’re Russian to kill you! We’re Russian to kill you! We’re Russian to kill you!

Overwhelmed, the Germans retreat.

INT FOXHOLE DAY

The troops shout into a telephone.

GERMAN 1
You need to send backup!

GERMAN 2
We’re getting slaughtered out here!

INT WAR ROOM DAY

German officials are gathered around a conference table.

German PR 1:

We have to top “they did Nazi us coming”!

GERMAN PR 2
I got nothing!

A third PR Rep slams his fists on the table.

GERMAN PR 3
It’s impossible!

GERMAN PR 2
There’s Ger-many of us?

GERMAN 1
That’s stupid!

A time rift appears and out steps a futuristic Neo-Nazi!

FUTURE NAZI
I’m from the future!

GERMAN PR 1
Did you do it?!

FUTURE NAZI
No! It’s really hard!

Future Nazi joins in frantic thinking. German PR 3 picks up the phone.

GERMAN PR 3
The war is schnitzeled!

EXT. HITLER’S BUNKER DAY

Aerial shot of Hitler’s Bunker.

EVA BRAUN
(mockingly)
They will Nazi us coming. They will Nazi us coming.

HITLER
Here, have a drink.

EVA BRAUN
Glug glug glug.

HITLER
Of poison!

Sound of body hitting floor.

HITLER
She did Nazi that coming. Boom! Ha ha. Still got it!

CUT TO BLACK